Crossroads

Every parent agonizes over the trials and tribulations of his or her children, especially when a child is going down the wrong road – a road that could lead to a dead end. Parents worry that their voices aren’t heard by their kids. After all, youths often find it difficult to communicate what they’re feeling and what they’re hearing – especially to parents and other adults. It can be even tougher to talk when they’re playing with fire.

It’s no different when you have an organization that is designed to help youths get back on the right path. I’ve often worried about what happens when youths leave my organization – and so do many of our trained staff. A few years ago a teenager – let’s call him John - entered one of our programs after he assaulted another high school student. The young man was flirting with John’s girlfriend, so John smashed him in the head while in their Detroit-area high school. Before that incident, John had a discipline record at his school and had built a reputation as a troublemaker. The victim’s family pressed charges – and now John the Trouble Maker faced the real possibility of becoming John the Convicted Felon. Fortunately, the court gave John one last chance. He came to Crossroads for Youth to reconnect to the basics.

Parents with troubled kids often don’t fit the stereotype – that of a troubled, broken home with a distracted parent, perhaps preoccupied with illegal activity. No, John came from an in tact, loving, well-off family with deep religious roots. After John entered our program we quickly got to the root of the problem: John wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions – and Mom, embarrassed by the allegations against her son, wouldn’t take responsibility either. Mom was often disruptive and accusatory, insisting he didn’t belong in treatment – yet we treated her with all the respect any parent deserves. And John still persevered in completing a peer-based program that we all hoped would teach him a few things:

1. Never give up on yourself and your ability to change.
2. Always hold yourself accountable for your own actions, being honest with yourself about your behavior and the ramifications of bad decisions.
3. Personal accomplishment is not a dream, but can be a reality with commitment and self-discipline.

It’s hard to know what happens years later with many of our “students” – and I wondered how John would fare back in the community. Three years later, John walked into my office, unannounced. He finished high school successfully. He kept out of trouble. He completed vocational training with an 18-wheel semi driver license. He saw his future optimistically. The darkness had passed. And he just wanted to say “thank you” for giving him the courage to change – words that make me – and many parents – realize that despite short term appearances to the contrary, we really are heard.

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Crossroads for Youth provides troubled children a supportive, positive environment in which they learn how to succeed in life. The organization teaches them self-discipline, responsibility and respect by offering a range of experiences. All of CFY’s programs incorporate academics, vocational training, individual and family counseling, community service and adventure therapy, as well as aftercare.

For more information about Crossroads for Youth contact our Director of Development and Agency Relations at 248-628-2561, ext. 250, email us at info@crossroadsforyouth.org or visit our Web site at www.crossroadsforyouth.org.